The MLIA post

My Life Is Average aka MLIA is the new Barack Obama Is Your New Bicycle. It is also the anti-Chuck Norris meme in that the most mundane daily incidents are flouted unlike Norris' superhuman feats. For instance, today, I got bored at work so I looked up my favorite MLIA posts and copy-pasted them to my blog. MLIA

• Today, I turned off the lights in my basement as I left. I was alone, so I ran up the stairs because it was dark. MLIA

• Today, the internet informed me that "the page cannot be displayed". I refreshed the page, and turns out it actually could be displayed. MLIA.

• Today I microwaved something for 33 seconds rather than 30 because it was easier to push the same button. MLIA

• Today, I set my alarm for 6 in the morning even though I didn't have to wake up until 8 just because I knew I would be able to fall back asleep for 2 more hours. MLIA

• Today I turned 11. I did not receive a letter from Hogwarts. MLIA

• Today, I tried to comment back on my friend's wall, but accidentally put it as my status. I deleted it as my status. No one noticed. MLIA.

• Today I installed a program and it asked if I had read and agreed to the terms and conditions. I hadn't, but I clicked 'yes' anyway. The program didn't know I lied, and began to install. MLIA.

• Today at school I leaned back in my chair and it made a farting noise. I casually did it again so everybody would know it was the chair. MLIA

• Today, I took a scantron test at school. I realized I got 5 b's in a row. I went back to check each one because it made me feel uncomfortable. MLIA

• Today, I read one page of a book. When I got to the bottom of the page, I realized that I did not pay attention to anything I had just read, so I reread it. MLIA

• Today, Microsoft Word decided to shut down without explanation. I chose not to send an error report to Microsoft. MLIA

• Today, I put my iPod on shuffle. I skipped most of the songs to get to the ones I like. MLIA

• Today, I wrote an English paper and when I double spaced it I felt like a champ. MLIA.

• Today I realized that the blinker of the car in front of me was synchronized with mine. Then I realized mine was actually a little faster. MLIA.

Thanks sistah for the tip!

Get ready for the future

(fictional) Doctors I Admire

• Dr. Rick Dagless: Where? Darkplace; Memorable Line: "We're doing all we can. but I'm not Jesus Christ. I've come to accept that now."


• Dr. Lucien Sanchez: Where? Darkplace; Memorable Line: "I'm Dr. Sanchez! You're a woman."


• Dr. Liz Asher: Where? Darkplace; Memorable Line: "Hi, I've come to apply for the doctor's job. I can assure you my credentials are top-notch, I've just graduated from Harvard College Yale. I aced every semester, and I got an 'A'. "


• Dr. House: Where? Space-age Princeton Hospital; Memorable Line: "It's not Lupus" and "Everybody lies"


• Dr. Leo Spaceman: Where? 30 Rock's resident physician. Degree? Ho Chi Minh School of Medicine; Memorable Line: "Unfortunately, we have no way of knowing where the heart is."


• Dr. Wordsmith: Where? some O.C. (don't call it that) hospital. Memorable Line: "He will be all right"


• Dr. Nick: Where? Springfield. Memorable Line: "Inflammable means flammable? What a country!"


• Dr. Hibert: Where? Springfield. Memorable Line: "Oh just because I am dressed as dracula and am black you assume I am blackula"


• Dr. Dorien & Dr. Turk: Where? Sacred Heart. Memorable Line: "It's guy love between two guys"


• Dr. Zoidberg: Where? Planet Delivery resident doctor. Memorable Line: "And I'm his friend Jesus!"

I know this isn't PC...

...but all Republicans look the same!

First Rule of Ikea: Don't go to Ikea

Here is a short run down of tips I have for Ikea:

Don't make the rookie mistake of going to Ikea blindly. I did this my first time. Another major mistake, going with other people especially other people who love to shop. First, you need to research what you want. Know exactly what you are looking for and what your gameplan is. You can do some browsing on the 1st floor/as-is section but know exactly what furniture you are considering. Also, and this is important, don't go in mid-to-late summer right before school starts. Full of college kids, very annoying. And those massive sales they have every season or so? You will need to get there hours before it opens to get a wrist band.

Before I went, I did considerable research online and by mail in catalog so I knew what furniture I wanted. Of course, you cannot plan for every scenario but wandering aimlessly will either get you killed or slowly drive you insane.

These rules also apply for Dekalb Farmer's Market and Target.

Which is which?

Tommy Wiseau or Conan O'Brien in a wig?

The Shopping Montage That Never Was

"In some of them I was like no. In others, I was like yeah"