The Editing Room

I completely forgot about this site and its hilarious abridged version of film scripts. The Juno and The Happening scripts gave me a few LOLs. Juno had it coming; it too often past the fine line of relevant quirky to lazy quirky. Best Picture nominee? For reals? I wouldn't even crown it with Best Quirky Film of the year (that would probably be The Darjeeling Limited but it would be close).

What I Did at Work Today

8:45-11:00 - Read Slate.com, NYTimes.com, and my regular assortment of online sites.
11:00-11:30 - Group meeting
11:30-12:30 - Lunch
12:30-1:00 - Watched The Office
1:00-1:05 - Worked on report
1:05-2:00 - Watched Firefly
2:00-2:30 - Read NYTimes again.
2:30-4:00 - did 20 minutes of work

Gosh Darnit Kennedy

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/06/27/washington/27scotuscnd.html?_r=1&hp&oref=slogin

Can't we all agree that the Second Amendment has lost all of its original meaning? If the Founders wanted the Amendment to be about individuals protecting their lives and property they would have said that instead of all that business about state militias. I don't think a bunch of folks in Montana with AK-47s are going to overthrow the United States government. Furthermore, this law only prevents the sale of most handguns. A person is still allowed to own a shot gun. And if Omar from The Wire has taught us anything, a shotgun is enough to protect yourself in D.C.
In other news, Georgia is number one! "Georgia ranked number one in the nation in the total number of crime guns traced to Georgia gun dealers and recovered in other states in 2007, with 2,631 crime guns traced to Georgia and recovered outside the state last year."

Music Videos I Recently Watched

Cool single take, though nothing too special. CYHSY are just awesome.

Flaming Lips-esque

This one is always fun.

Office Space Redux

Office Space meets Laser Cats meets that office video of ppl singing Harvey Danger. Nerf guns are way cooler now. Did I see a Nerf Mini Gun? Awesome. And the packing peanuts as gore was a good touch. Almost as good as using pizza pies for bullet wounds in Be Kind Rewind.


http://view.break.com/521743 - Watch more free videos

The GOP's Last Hope

While giving a speach with Rudolph Giuliani, McCain found it a proper time to critcize Obama for the recent 5-4 Supreme Court ruling that grants Guantonomo detainees the right to challenge their imprisonment. Basically, it ensures that the Bush administration can't detain people indefintely without a real charge against them. McCain, knowing that terrorism is the only issue he polls better than Obama on, found this a good oppurtunity to remind everyone he has the experience to stop the evil doers. Giuliani then chimed in with his Greatest Hits saying Obama is of the "pre-9/11" mindset. This I always found a disturbing notion, as if after 9/11 we ceased to be an America of civil liberties. Couldn't this be used for anything? We shouldn't condone torture, the First Amendment, don't invade countries on false pretenses! Pre-9/11, Pre-9/11, and Pre-9/11.
I have to give it to McCain though. With the economy in shambles, a solid majority against staying in Iraq, and gas prices rising expontentially, he knows his only way of winning the election is by taking out the Republican Party's Plan B: if you don't vote for me, you will die. You know a Republican will do whatever is necessary, no matter how unethical and evil, to protect you from the freedom haters. And this works on Americans. The more people we kill, torture, and capture = the safer we will be. I hope by this election, Americans will wise up to the fallacy of the Bush-McCain War on Terror.

Conservative Talk Radio

Having exhausted my NPR podcasts, and getting static on live NPR for most of my drive, what is a liberal elitist to do? Obviously, listen to Conservative Talk Radio (TM). I will present highlights and insights from these modern day sirens of impending disaster from the (random liberal group) agenda.

• Neil Boortz: When I first tuned in, he was upset that environmental groups were protesting President? Bush's proposal to explore artic areas for oil. These enivronmental groups moan that this could "disturb" the polar bears. DISTURB!? WITH GAS AT THESE PRICES WE ARE WORRYING ABOUT DISTURBED POLAR BEARS? Outrageous. Next, he did a touchy obituary for Tim Russet. Now, Boortz rarely got to watch Meet the Press since he is in church on Sunday mornings (I thought he was Jewish? Good news there.) He mentions his church-going habbits interrupting his chance to see Tim Russert. Off the bat, Boortz admits he did not know Russert but despite being a liberal he was unbiased in his questioning. Fair and accurate comment to make Boortz, I am impressed. Oh, but Russert was a champion of fighting the liberal bias of NBC. Not so sure about that. But good job inserting your little crusade into an obituary. That took Faux News level sleeze.
• Didn't get to listen to Bill O' Reilly, but they featured a commercial of him pissed off for his tax dollars going to PBS! Ridiculous!

Nostalgia Post

Rememebr the, 'dude get a Dell' guy? Didn't he make Dell computers almost Apple-cool for a moment? Without him, I don't think the 'don't taze me bro' kid would have made it.

SNL Digital Short Revisted

One of the best and catchy.



"You can play the Jews, I will be your Jim Caviezel"

Totally called it

I predicted that Speed Racer would be a future AVClub labeled "Fiasco." My prediction has been vindicated: http://www.avclub.com/content/feature/my_year_of_flops_case_file_111

Formula for Generic CGI Animated Film

A + B + C = blockbuster hit that is fun for the whole family

A. Cute Animal
-Panda
-Penguin
-Dog
-Cat
-Clown Fish

B. Unusual Occupation
-Kung Fu master
-Chef
-Surfer
-Aspiring actor
-Aspiring professional athlete
-Insurance salesman

C. A/B-List celebrity voice over
-Jack Black
-Cameron Diaz
-Ben Stiller
-Will Smith
-Julia Roberts


Ex1. Julia Roberts voices a Siamese cat that wants to sell life insurance but with only 9 lives to do it in!
Ex2. Jack Black voices a precocious penguin with dreams of becoming a Texan cowboy... if he can stand the heat!
Ex3. Daniel-Day Lewis voices an adorable lemur with dreams of striking oil, there will be hilarity!

Aston Kutcher: Camera Salesman

Why would Nikon think Aston Kutcher could sell consumer and professional cameras? One commercial features him bro'ing it up at a wedding, acting as the annoying person snapping pictures of everything. Maybe the message Nikon is presenting is that their cameras are so easy to use even Aston Kutcher can use them.
This is the worst celebrity endorsement since Adrien Brody strutted for Diet Coke. Fresh off an Oscar win for the Holocaust drama The Pianist comes...."BRODY!" BTW, found an awesome Adrian Brody fan site.

A few movies that end with their best scene

• Juno: Michael Cera and Ellen page perform "Anyone Else But You" as the camera slowly pans away.
• There Will Be Blood: DDL blugeons Paul Dano with a bowling pin.
• Over the Hedge: Hammy, as voiced by Steve Carrell, is a hyperactive squirell that finally gets his "NUTS!"
• Iron Man: SPOILER, highlight to see; Robert Downey Jr. at the last moment confesses to being Tony Stark to a crowd of journalists.
• No Country for Old Men: Tommy Lee Jones has a monologue describing a dream he had. Explains the whole movie.
• The Godfather: Al Pacino closes the door on Diane Keaton.
• Alien3: Ripley jumps into the molten pool of lead as she cradles the alien that busted out of her chest.
• The Two Towers: Golem decides to seek revenge as the camera pans above the tree-line to reveal Mt. Doom in the distance.

Kucinich presents 35 articles to impeach Bush

It is about time. How was it so easy to impeach Clinton and not Bush, who committed real crimes against the American people? I guess Democrats are wimps (or smart since the impeachment of Clinton did not work out too well for the GOP. I have to think the historical unpopularity of Bush would make his impeachment genereally tolerated. Oh what would I give to see Bush have to answer questions in front of Congress. I think I would risk McCain winning the election just to see that. I may have overrun the use of these parenthesis)
http://news.slashdot.org/article.pl?no_d2=1&sid=08/06/10/2322237

Legos and Macs

First, history recreated in legos: http://gizmodo.com/5014334/classic-photographs-recreated-with-lego-blocks-are-inspiring-amazing

Second, in anticipation of the next Apple Expo (iPhone 3G! OSX 10.6!?!), this has to be the biggest fanboy utility ever:
http://www.dipity.com/user/cultofmac/timeline/History_of_Just_One_More_Thing

Fun watching the old videos. Jobs has defintely refined his act (use of Comic Sans when announcing the iBook!?)

Radiohead performed by 1980s technology

Awesome. If Wes Anderson directed music videos (does he?), it would look like this.

Paulville and Rapture

A few rabid Ron Paul supporters have bought up a piece of land in The West (I presume near a polygamist compound) and want to create an Ayn Rand styled utopia based on the wise teachings of Ron Paul. Naturally, it is called Paullville. Recently, I was playing the demo to the game Bioshock, and it reminded me of Paullville. The game takes place in a vast undersea city circa 1960. The city, Rapture, was built by some crazy billionaire in reaction to oppression from religious and governmental bodies. The philosophy of Rapture is to let everyone pursue their own goals without external limitations. Of course, this leads to genetically modified, murderous, 1950s party mask wearing mutants that overthrow the city. In the mix are also Big Daddies, giants wearing old fashioned scuba gear wielding enormous drills, and the Little Sisters they protect, demonic adolescent girls. In conclusion, this is what happens when Ron Paul politics rule the land: rabid genetically modified humans harvesting ADAM off the living in a dilapidated underwater city. Awesome game by the way in every department and steampunk galore.

Gore Verbinski is slated to direct a big budget film adapatation of Bioshock, which would be the first case of a video game with a story worthy of being adapted into a film. But why is no one optioning Half Life 2? Here are my ideas:

• Half Life 2 definitely has a Children of Men dystopia feel so Alfonso Cuaron is an obvious choice. (This may be biased since I would have him direct Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants II and I would totally watch it (The Little Princess, great movie)). Anyway, Speilberg could also do it World-of-the-Worlds style. The striders look just like WotW's tripods and Minority Report's gadgetry would come into play.
• Speaking of gadgetry, the PORTAL GUN. This could be the next bullet-time effect. Not too mention the physics gun which is basically The Force.
• Casting: Gordon Freeman is a scientist with a goatee. So Ed Norton could do it. But Clive Owen would be perfect (for any role). Most importantly, the G-Man. He is Agent Smith without the fighting ability and 10x more ridiculous monotone speech. Crispin Glover would work.
• Details of the Combine should be kept to a minimum and the aliens (i.e. Vortigons) should be cut. Basically, it should be Children of Men with science fiction weapons and Lost-esque mystery.

Why the experience argument doesn't work

Since Obama clinched the nomination with almost 99.99999% certainty, McCain found it a good opportunity to grab attention for his irrelevant campaign. He, like Hillary, see Obama's weakness in his lack of "experience." I assume they mean political experience because Obama's work as a civil rights attorney seems just as relevant as Hillary's time in the White House avoiding sniper fire. McCain and Hillary's time as career politicians will make them ready "day one" to answer late night phone calls. Obama should counter the experience argument with a few examples of experienced members of the Bush administration: Cheney, Rumsfeld, Powell, to name a few of his experienced staff that had a part in one of the biggest disasters in American history. Hillary was one of these experienced politicans to have supported the war and no Democrat should be so forgiven for this mistake that they should be given the nomination for the presidency (let alone never apologizing for the vote).

McCain is trying to pre-empt the Democrat attacks which will label everything "the Bush-McCain X." Well Maverick, supported the war, tax cuts for the wealthy, embracing the religious right, and weakening his position on torture is not a Maverick. Ron Paul is a maverick... In conclusion, being a "maverick" or "experienced" is not necessarily good and is often Ron Paul, I mean bad. Seriously Ron Paul supporters, what's the deal?

His Dark Materials

This series of children's books is pretty subversive. Why when The Christian Right (TM) was giving such a hoopla over Harry Potter didn't they start with these books? Probably because they are brazenly anti-Catholic which is cool with them. Beyond the explicit violence (beheadings, severed limbs, crushed skulls, etc.)which I assume is not too unusual for kid lit, this book actually refers to the Vatican and has a not too subtle reference to child molestation. It is too soon to judge if this is superior to the Harry Potter franchise. J.K. was able to create a more in depth alternative universe, Tolkien style, which adds to the appeal.

When The Golden Compass opened, the issues of anti-Catholicism in these novels brought public attention to the books. I have not finished the series yet but the novels are not necessarily anti-faith just anti-institutionalization of religion, which is the source of faith-based conflicts. Any book with magic cannot be, at least superficially, described as secular humanism literature. I am not sure if secular humanist kid lit is possible. Magic would be replaced with science. And science, frankly, is not going to grab the attention of kids. Imagine if Harry had to run months of experiments with controls and spend time distilling and testing the purity of the ingredients to ensure the safety of their Polyjuice Potion? By the time they finished, the Balisk would already have killed everyone with its absurdity and the series would end with a Chris Columbus movie.